Personality, ways of acting and relating, managing and expressing emotions, and even future partner choice are intimately related to the type of attachment developed in childhood between parents and the infant.
Below, we will explain what attachment is, the types according to John Bowlby's theory, their implications in a person's later life, the behaviors of each attachment style, and how they influence intimate relationships.
What is Attachment?
Attachment is an emotional bond established from the earliest moments of life between the mother and the newborn or the caregiver. Its function is to ensure care, psychological development, and personality formation.
The establishment of attachment from early infancy is mainly related to two systems: the exploratory system, which allows the baby to contact the physical environment through the senses; and the affiliative system, through which babies contact other people.
According to López (2009), attachment consists of three components: the mental construction that allows establishing the relationship of belonging and unconditionality, the affective union that provides feelings of joy and well-being, and the attachment behavior system focused on maintaining privileged contact.
How is Attachment Established?
During the first year, an attachment bond is established with the person with whom the baby has the most contact, and fear of strangers appears.
Attachment provides security to the child in threatening situations. Secure attachment allows the child to explore, learn about the world, and relate to others with the assurance that the person they are bonded with will be there to protect them. When this does not happen, fears and insecurities influence how the child interprets the world and relates to others.
John Bowlby's Theory
John Bowlby (1907-1990) was a psychiatrist and child psychoanalyst who studied the effects of the relationship between the primary caregiver and the child on the child's mental health and adult life.
To do this, Bowlby built on the work of American psychologist Mary Ainsworth, with whom he had collaborated. Ainsworth observed various interactions between mothers and children using a standardized procedure known as the Strange Situation.
After studying institutionalized children for theft and children who had been separated from their mothers at early ages, Bowlby concluded that the resilience of children was influenced by the bond formed in the first years of life. In this sense, the type of relationship established between the infant and their caregiver is crucial for later behavior and emotional development. The attachment style established in childhood can be visible in the fears or insecurities of the adult and in how they handle them.
The 4 Types of Attachment
Next, we will look at what each of Bowlby's proposed attachment types entails, as well as some manifestations in children and adults.
1. Secure Attachment
This type of attachment is characterized by unconditionality: the child knows their caregiver will not fail them. They feel loved, accepted, and valued. According to Bowlby, this type of attachment largely depends on the caregiver's consistency in providing care and security. The caregiver should be attentive and concerned with communicating with the newborn, not just interested in meeting the baby's cleaning and feeding needs. However, the downside is that this requires almost total dedication from the caregiver, which can be challenging for some people.
Children with secure attachment display active behaviors, interact confidently with their environment, and have emotional harmony with their attachment figure.
They have no trouble forming intimate bonds and are not afraid of abandonment. In other words, they can lead independent adult lives without giving up their interpersonal relationships and emotional bonds.
2. Anxious-Ambivalent Attachment
In psychology, "ambivalent" means expressing contradictory emotions or feelings, which often causes distress. Therefore, in the case of anxious-ambivalent attachment, the child does not trust their caregivers and has a constant feeling of insecurity, as their caregivers are sometimes present and sometimes not, with the only constant being inconsistency in care and security behaviors.
The most frequent emotions in this type of attachment are fear and exaggerated distress at separations, as well as difficulty calming down when the caregiver returns. Children need the caregivers' approval and constantly watch to ensure they are not abandoned. They explore the environment in a tense manner, trying not to stray too far from the attachment figure.
As adults, anxious-ambivalent attachment causes a fear that their partner does not love or desire them. They find it difficult to interact as they would like with others, as they expect more intimacy or bonding than is provided. An example of this attachment type in adults is emotional dependence.
3. Avoidant Attachment
Children with avoidant attachment have learned that they cannot rely on their caregivers, which causes them suffering. It is called "avoidant" because babies display various distancing behaviors. For example, they do not cry when separated from the caregiver, are only interested in their toys, and avoid close contact.
The constant behaviors of caregivers have not generated sufficient security, leading the child to develop compulsive self-sufficiency with a preference for emotional distance.
Lack of concern for separation can be mistaken for security; however, studies show that these children exhibit physiological signs of stress, which last longer than in children with secure attachment. These children feel unloved and unvalued, often not expressing or understanding others' emotions, and thus avoid intimate relationships.
In adulthood, they experience rejection of intimacy with others and relationship difficulties. For example, their partners often feel a lack of intimacy in the interaction.
4. Disorganized Attachment
This is a mix between anxious and avoidant attachment, where the child exhibits contradictory and inappropriate behaviors. Some describe it as a total lack of attachment.
The constant behaviors of caregivers have been negligent or insecure. This is the opposite of secure attachment. Early abandonment cases result in the child losing trust in their caregiver or attachment figure and even feeling constant fear towards them.
Children tend to exhibit explosive behaviors, toy destruction, impulsive reactions, and great difficulty understanding caregivers and others.
They avoid intimacy and have not found a way to manage the emotions it provokes, resulting in a negative emotional overflow that prevents the expression of positive emotions.
As adults, they often carry a high load of frustration and anger, do not feel loved, and seem to reject relationships, even though they crave them. In other cases, this type of attachment in adults can be at the root of constant conflict in relationships.
Can Attachment Style Change?
Yes, attachment is not immutable and does not remain the same in everyone as development progresses. Additionally, the behavior of any individual in a relationship is mediated by the behavior of the other. Friendships, work relationships, and romantic relationships also influence attachment type and the role maintained with new attachment figures.
All this must be interpreted from an integrative perspective, meaning that all interactions from birth to adulthood shape current behavior. A person with an insecure attachment style in childhood can "learn" from the secure attachment behaviors provided by their partner or other loved ones, such as a psychologically healthy close group of friends. In any case, it is important to develop appropriate strategies to generate security with the resources available.
Currently, there are multiple psychosocial factors with significant consequences for forming primary bonds. For example, the lack of work-life balance where working caregivers (mothers/fathers) are forced to leave their children with others, as well as the absence of those others to help with childcare or social services to compensate. This shows that the task of forming secure attachment styles involves various actors, not just mothers, fathers, or close attachment figures.
Bibliographic References:
- Bowlby, J. (1977). The making and breaking of affectional bonds. The British Journal of Psychiatry, 130(3): 201-210.
- López, F. (2009). Amores y desamores: procesos de vinculación y desvinculación sexuales y afectivos. Madrid: Biblioteca Nueva.
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