Arguments as a couple are a natural part of any intimate relationship. However, some people tend to avoid them at all costs, either for fear of facing conflict or wanting to maintain harmony in the relationship. If you identify with this tendency, it is important to understand the reasons behind this behavior and how it can influence the dynamics of your relationship.
Why do we avoid Arguments as a couple?
There are various reasons why a person may choose to avoid arguments in their relationship. Some of the most common include:
Fear of conflict
One of the main reasons behind avoiding arguments as a couple is the fear of conflict. Some people fear that expressing their opinions or feelings will lead to a confrontation that could damage the relationship. This fear may be related to previous experiences of destructive conflicts or a difficulty in handling tense situations.
Avoid hurting others
Another common reason for avoiding arguments as a couple is the desire not to hurt the other person's feelings. Those who adopt this position usually prioritize harmony and peace in the relationship, avoiding conflictive topics or conversations that may be uncomfortable. However, this attitude can lead to the accumulation of resentment and a lack of effective communication.
Insecurity and low self-esteem
People with low self-esteem or personal insecurities may avoid discussions in partner for fear of not being heard, valued or understood. This behavior may be related to the belief that expressing disagreement or discomfort will lead to rejection by the partner, which reinforces conflict avoidance.
Dysfunctional communication patterns
In some cases, the avoidance of arguments as a couple may be the result of dysfunctional communication patterns in the relationship. If previous discussions have ended in unresolved conflicts, reproaches or misunderstandings, one of the parties may prefer to avoid new confrontations to avoid repeating negative experiences.
Impact of avoiding arguments as a couple
Although avoiding arguments may seem like a strategy to maintain peace in the relationship, this behavior can have negative long-term consequences. Some of the most important effects of avoiding arguments as a couple include:
Buildup of resentment
The lack of honest and open communication between partners can lead to the buildup of resentment on the part of the couple. of one or both members. When arguments are avoided, problems are not resolved, which can generate unexpressed tensions that accumulate over time.
Stagnation in the relationship
Avoid arguments as a couple It can contribute to relationship stagnation, preventing personal growth and conflict resolution. Without the opportunity to express opinions, feelings or needs, the couple can remain in a state of emotional immobility that hinders their evolution and development.
Deterioration of intimacy
Lack of communication Honest communication and the avoidance of arguments can affect emotional and physical intimacy in a couple. The inability to address conflicts or differences can create barriers in emotional connection, decreasing the feeling of closeness and complicity between members of the couple.
Passive-aggressive resentment
When they are avoided direct arguments, it is possible that the discomfort is expressed in a passive-aggressive way in the relationship. Instead of addressing problems openly, one party may resort to indirect behavior, sarcasm, or derogatory attitudes to express their discomfort, which can increase tension and latent conflict in the relationship.
How How to approach arguments as a couple in a healthy way?
Although arguments as a couple can be challenging, they are a natural and inevitable part of any intimate relationship. Learning to approach conflict in a healthy way can strengthen communication, promote problem solving, and foster intimacy between couples. Some strategies to approach arguments as a couple constructively include:
Practice active listening
One of the keys to approaching arguments as a couple in a healthy way is to practice active listening. This involves paying attention to what the other person is expressing, showing empathy, and validating their feelings. Avoiding interrupting, passing judgment or questioning the other's points of view can facilitate more effective and respectful communication.
Express emotions assertively
It is important to learn to express your emotions and needs assertively during a discussion as a couple. Instead of repressing your feelings or using aggressive language, seek to communicate clearly and directly what worries you, bothers you, or needs from the other person. Assertiveness helps avoid misunderstandings, resentments and unresolved conflicts.
Establish limits and communication norms
Defining clear limits and communication norms in the couple can be essential to address arguments in a healthy way. Establishing rules about how to express opinions, manage differences, and resolve conflicts can help create an environment of respect, trust, and openness in the relationship.
Find solutions together
Instead of focusing on win an argument or prove who is right, focus on finding solutions together. Approaching problems from a collaborative perspective, where both parties commit to finding a mutually beneficial solution, can strengthen the connection and trust in the couple.
Conclusion
In conclusion, although It may be tempting to avoid arguments as a couple to maintain harmony and avoid conflict, this behavior can have negative effects on the relationship in the long term. Learning to approach conflict in a healthy way, practicing open and honest communication, and working on problem-solving together can strengthen emotional connection and intimacy in your relationship. Let us remember that arguments as a couple are not necessarily negative, but rather they can be opportunities to grow, deepen mutual understanding and strengthen the bond between the members of the couple.