In daily social interaction, it is common to encounter people who show certain traits of control over their environment and the people around them. These characteristics can manifest themselves in various ways and at different levels, but in general, controlling people tend to seek dominance and power in their interpersonal relationships. Identifying these people can be crucial to establishing healthy boundaries and protecting our own autonomy and emotional well-being.
1. Need to have total control
One of the most evident characteristics of controlling people is their constant need to have total control over the situations in which they find themselves. They may show difficulty accepting uncertainty or the lack of predictability in their environment, which leads them to try to meticulously control every detail and aspect of their lives and those of others.
Manifestations:
- Plan and organize everything in advance.
- Decide for others without consulting.
- Constantly interrupt others during conversations or activities.
2. Low frustration tolerance
Controlling people often experience low frustration tolerance, meaning they feel overwhelmed or upset when things don't go the way they expect or want. This difficulty in managing frustration can lead them to seek absolute control as a way to avoid the negative emotions associated with loss of control.
It manifests itself in:
- Disproportionate reactions in the event of unforeseen events.
- Refusal to accept criticism or suggestions that question their authority.
- Triggering discussions or conflicts at the slightest discrepancy.
3 . Micromanagement in relationships
Micromanagement, or the tendency to control the activities of others excessively and in detail, is another characteristic sign of controlling people. In interpersonal relationships, this translates into constant supervision and correction of the actions of others, without allowing them freedom or autonomy to function on their own.
Indications of micromanagement:
- Give detailed instructions even for simple tasks.
- Demand constant reporting on the other person's activities.
- Continually criticize and correct others' performance.
4. High need for validation and approval
Controlling people often rely heavily on external validation and approval from others to feel safe and supported. This constant need for validation can lead them to try to control the perception that others have of them, constantly seeking praise and avoiding any type of criticism or disapproval.
Signs of need for validation:
- Constant search for praise and recognition.
- Avoid situations or people that may question your worth or competence.
- Ignore divergent opinions that do not coincide with your pre-established vision.
5. Lack of empathy and consideration for others
Lack of empathy and consideration for the feelings and needs of others is another common characteristic in controlling people. Due to their focus on their own control and power, these people may show little interest in understanding or emotionally supporting those around them, always prioritizing their own needs and desires.
It manifests itself in:
- Inattention towards the emotions or difficulties of others.
- Imposition of one's own decisions and desires without considering others.
- Lack of emotional support at times of crisis or need of others.
6. Tendency toward perfectionism and obsessive control
Perfectionism and obsessive control are usually present in controlling people, manifesting themselves in the constant search for excellence and correctness in all aspects of their lives and those of others. the rest. This excessive search for perfection can generate high levels of stress and anxiety, both in the controlling person and in those around them.
Signs of perfectionism and obsessive control:
- Rigidity extreme in the planning and execution of tasks.
- Excessive criticism of one's own and others' mistakes.
- Difficulty delegating responsibilities for fear that they will not be done correctly.
7. Propensity for emotional control and manipulation
Controlling people often resort to emotional control and manipulation as strategies to maintain their dominance over others. This translates into the use of emotions such as guilt, fear or shame to influence the behavior of those around them, creating an environment of dependence and submission.
Indications of emotional control and manipulation:
- Using emotional blackmail to get what they want.
- Ignoring personal limits and pressuring others to comply with their demands.
- Creating conflicts or emotional crises as a way to maintain control in the relationship.
8. Difficulty accepting the autonomy and freedom of others
Finally, controlling people show marked difficulty accepting the autonomy and freedom of others, as this poses a threat to their own sense of self. control and power. They may feel uncomfortable or insecure when others act independently or make decisions without their approval, which can trigger conflicts and confrontations in relationships.
Symptoms of difficulty accepting the autonomy of others:Symptoms of difficulty accepting the autonomy of others:
- Fear of losing control over the decisions of others.
- Constantly intervening in the choices and actions of others.
- Generating tensions or conflicts when They perceive that they are losing influence over someone.
In conclusion, identifying the characteristics of controlling people can help us establish clear limits in our interpersonal relationships and protect our autonomy and emotional well-being. If you feel trapped in a relationship with a controlling person, it is important to seek professional support to learn how to set healthy boundaries and strengthen your self-esteem.