Emotional dependence in relationships is a complex topic that has been studied from various perspectives in psychology. In this article, we will focus on analyzing this phenomenon from a psychodynamic point of view, exploring the unconscious dynamics that may be at play in the manifestation of dependent behaviors within the couple.
Definition of Emotional Dependency
Emotional dependency refers to a pattern of behavior in which a person excessively seeks approval, validation and the company of their partner, to the point of neglecting their own needs, desires and limits. This excessive need to be close to the other and to receive constant attention can generate an imbalance in the relationship, making it dysfunctional and unhealthy.
From a psychodynamic perspective, emotional dependence can be related to unresolved conflicts in childhood, in which the person failed to develop adequate emotional autonomy and depended excessively on parental figures to satisfy their emotional needs. These early interaction patterns can be internalized and replicated in couple relationships in adulthood.
Factors that Contribute to Emotional Dependency
There are various factors that can contribute to the development of emotional dependency. emotional dependence in relationships:
- Low Self-Esteem: People with low self-esteem tend to constantly seek external validation to feel valuable and loved. This can lead to emotional dependence on the couple, since the person places the responsibility for their own worth on the other.
- Fear of Abandonment: The deep fear of abandonment can leading a person to desperately seek closeness and attention from their partner, even at the cost of their own emotional integrity. This fear may be related to previous traumatic experiences of loss or abandonment.
- Relational Patterns: Relationship models learned in childhood can influence the way a person bonds. with your partner in adulthood. If dynamics of emotional dependence predominated in the family of origin, it is likely that they will be reproduced in the couple's relationship.
- Need for Control: Emotional dependence may be related to the need to control the other to feel safe in the relationship. This possessive and jealous attitude can distance the couple and generate conflicts in coexistence.
Manifestations of Emotional Dependency in Relationships
Emotional dependency can manifest itself in various ways in relationships, some of which can be detrimental to the emotional well-being of both members:
- Excessive Jealousy: The dependent person can experience intense feelings of jealousy at any sign of attention or interest from your partner towards third parties. This insecurity can generate conflicts and tensions in the relationship.
- Submission and Personal Cancellation: In an attempt to maintain closeness with the partner, the dependent person may renounce his or her own opinions. , tastes and needs, adopting a role of submission and personal cancellation that can be suffocating.
- Constant Need for Approval: The incessant search for approval and validation by the partner can lead the dependent person to neglect their self-esteem and relegate their own opinions based on what the other expects of them.
- Self-abandonment Schemes: Sometimes, emotional dependence can trigger patterns of self-neglect, in which the person neglects themselves in order to satisfy the needs of the other, generating an imbalance in the relationship.
Psychodynamic Intervention in Emotional DependencyPsychodynamic Intervention in Emotional Dependency
From a psychodynamic perspective, intervention in cases of emotional dependence in couple relationships focuses on exploring the unconscious dynamics that underlie this pattern of behavior, identifying unresolved emotional conflicts that may be fueling the dependence and promoting greater self-knowledge and emotional autonomy in the person.
Some strategies used in psychodynamic therapy to address emotional dependence in relationships include:
- Analysis of Early Relationships:Explore the person's early experiences in their family of origin to identify patterns of interaction and attachment that may be influencing their way of relating today.
- Exploration of Unconscious Conflicts: Work on the identification and understanding of unresolved emotional conflicts that may be driving emotional dependence, helping the person to become aware of their hidden motivations and desires.
- Strengthening Self-Esteem: Promote the development of healthy self-esteem and a solid self-identity, independent of external evaluation, to reduce the need to seek validation from a partner.
- Exploration of Defense Mechanisms: Identify and work on modifying the defense mechanisms that the person uses to protect themselves from emotional distress, facilitating openness to vulnerability and the expression of emotions in a more authentic way.
Conclusions
In short, emotional dependence in relationships can have deep roots in personal history and past experiences of the person, manifesting itself as a pattern of behavior characterized by the constant search for external validation and the excessive need to be close to the other.
From a psychodynamic perspective, it is essential to explore the unconscious dynamics that support the emotional dependence, identifying unresolved conflicts and promoting greater self-knowledge and emotional autonomy in the person to promote healthier and more balanced relationships.
Psychodynamic intervention in cases of emotional dependence in relationships can be of great help in understanding and modifying these dysfunctional interaction patterns, promoting greater emotional well-being and greater satisfaction in intimate relationships.