Fears are a natural part of the development of our sons and daughters. It is normal for them to experience fears of the unknown, the dark, loud noises or being separated from their parents. However, as parents, we can play a crucial role in helping them face and overcome these fears in a healthy way. Below, we present 7 guidelines that you can follow to support your sons and daughters in this process.
1. Active listening and emotional validity
It is essential to show empathy and understanding when our children express their fears. Actively listen to what they have to say, validate their emotions, and avoid minimizing or ridiculing their fears. Let them know that it is normal to feel afraid and that they are safe to express their emotions with you.
Practical Tip:
Repeat their words to show that you understand how they feel. For example, "I understand that you feel scared when you hear that noise. What can we do together to feel better?"
2. Encourage open communication
Creating an environment where your children feel comfortable talking about their fears is essential to helping them overcome them. Encourage your children to express what they feel and ask questions without judgment. Open communication strengthens the emotional bond between parents and children and gives them a safe space to share their concerns.
Practical advice:
Establish daily moments to talk as a family, where everyone has the opportunity to express your feelings and fears. Listen carefully and without interrupting, showing genuine interest in what your children have to say.
3. Face fears gradually
Help your children face their fears in a progressive and structured way. Don't force them to face terrifying situations all at once, but accompany them in small steps that allow them to feel safe and achieve small successes. Gradual exposure to what they fear will help them develop skills to manage their anxiety.
Practical tip:
If your child is afraid of dogs, for example, start by showing them photos of dogs, then approach small dogs in the park, and finally consider interacting with a friendly dog under supervision.
4. Promote positive thinking
Teach your children to reframe their negative thoughts and focus on more positive aspects of situations that make them afraid. Help them identify catastrophic thoughts and replace them with realistic and constructive thoughts. Encouraging positive thinking will allow them to face their fears with a more optimistic attitude.
Practical advice:
Challenge their negative thoughts with your children. For example, if they say "If I go to school alone, something bad is going to happen", ask them if there are other times when they have gone alone and everything has turned out well. Help them find evidence that contradicts their catastrophic thoughts.
5. Model a calm attitude in the face of fears
Boys and girls learn a lot by observing their parents' behavior. It is important that as role models, we show a calm and confident attitude in the face of our own fearful situations. Avoid transmitting your own fears to them in an exaggerated way and demonstrate how you face and overcome your own worries.
Practical advice:
Share with your children how you manage your own fears in a positive way. For example, if you feel anxious when speaking in public, explain the strategies you use to calm down before a presentation and how you feel after overcoming that challenge.
6. Provide security and constant support
Creating a safe and loving family environment is essential so that your children feel protected and supported in the process of facing their fears. Provide them with emotional, physical and emotional security, assuring them that you will always be there to accompany and care for them in any circumstance.
Practical advice:
Create stable family routines that provide security for your children, such as times for eating, sleeping and playing. Establish clear and consistent rules that allow them to know what to expect and how to behave in different situations.
7. Lean on professionals if necessary
If your children's fears significantly interfere with their daily life, affecting their emotional, social or academic well-being, it is important to seek professional help. Child psychologists and child therapists are trained to work with childhood fears and can offer specific strategies and techniques to effectively overcome them.
Practical advice:
Consult with a professional of mental health if you notice that your child's fears persist or intensify over time, if they affect their quality of life or if they present other symptoms such as behavioral changes or sleeping difficulties.
In conclusion, Fears are a natural part of childhood development and as parents we can play a fundamental role in helping our children overcome them in a positive way. With empathy, open communication, gradual exposure, and ongoing support, we can give them the tools necessary to confront and manage their fears in a healthy way. Remember that each child is unique and that the process of overcoming fears can take time, patience and unconditional love.