The need for approval is a psychological phenomenon that affects many people in different aspects of their lives. It is defined as the constant search for validation and acceptance from others, often at the expense of one's own self-esteem and emotional well-being. This need can arise from various life experiences, such as upbringing, interpersonal relationships, social and cultural environment, among other factors.
Origin of the need approval
The need for approval has its roots in childhood and the way individuals were raised and socialized. From an early age, people learn to associate the attention, affection, and approval of others with their self-worth. If a child receives praise and recognition for specific behaviors, he or she is likely to internalize the idea that his or her worth depends on external approval.
In addition, comparison with others and the pressure to fit into certain social groups They also contribute to the development of the need for approval. In an attempt to be accepted and avoid rejection, people may adopt behaviors, opinions, or values that do not reflect their true identity, further reinforcing dependence on external approval.
Impact on self-esteem
Overreliance on external approval can have negative consequences on a person's self-esteem and emotional health. When self-worth is based exclusively on the approval of others, self-esteem becomes fragile and vulnerable to any criticism or disapproval. This can lead to a cycle of constantly seeking validation, in which the person never feels good or worthy enough.
In addition, the need for approval can generate anxiety, stress, and fear of rejection. People who suffer from this problem may experience a constant fear of not being accepted or of disappointing the expectations of others, which prevents them from developing a solid and secure self-image.
Signs that the need for approval is being weakened. has become a problem
It is important to recognize when the need for approval has transcended the realm of what is healthy and has become a problem that affects a person's daily life. Some signs that may indicate that this dependency is problematic include:
- Feeling excessive anxiety about the possibility of receiving criticism or disapproval.
- Constantly seeking approval from others in all decisions and actions.
- Adopt behaviors or attitudes that go against personal values to be accepted by others.
- Depend on external validation to feel valuable or worthy.
- Experiencing an irrational fear of rejection or disapproval.
Consequences of excessive dependence on approval
People who suffer from a need Extreme approval may experience a series of negative consequences in different areas of their lives. In terms of interpersonal relationships, this dependency can lead to toxic and unbalanced relationships, in which the person constantly seeks validation from their partner, friends or family without establishing healthy boundaries.
In the workplace, The need for approval can manifest itself in a lack of autonomy, insecurity in decision-making, and difficulty receiving constructive criticism. This can affect job performance and job satisfaction, creating an environment of dependency and lack of confidence in one's own skills and abilities.
In addition, excessive dependence on approval can limit personal growth and a person's professional career, preventing them from taking risks, exploring new opportunities or developing an authentic and coherent identity. This can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction, emotional emptiness, and lack of purpose in life.
How to overcome the need for approval
Fortunately, the need for approval is an issue that can be addressed. and overcome with time and proper dedication. Below are some strategies and techniques that can help people reduce their dependence on external approval and strengthen their self-esteem:
1. Cultivate self-acceptance
The first step to overcoming the need for approval is to learn to accept yourself as you are, with virtues and defects. This implies recognizing that personal worth does not depend on the opinions of others, but on one's own self-esteem and authenticity. Practicing self-acceptance can involve developing self-compassion, celebrating personal achievements, and accepting imperfections as a natural part of being human.
2. Identify and challenge limiting beliefs
It is important to identify the negative and limiting beliefs that underlie the need for approval and question their validity. Many times, these beliefs are rooted in past experiences or internalized messages from childhood, and can perpetuate a cycle of emotional dependency. By challenging these beliefs and replacing them with more realistic and healthy thoughts, you can change your self-perception and foster greater autonomy and self-confidence.
3. Establish healthy boundaries
To reduce dependence on external approval, it is essential to establish healthy boundaries in interpersonal relationships and learn to say no when necessary. This involves recognizing and respecting one's own needs and desires, regardless of the opinions of others, and establishing clear limits that protect personal integrity. By setting healthy boundaries, you promote self-respect and foster greater self-esteem and autonomy.
4. Practice Assertiveness
Assertiveness is a key social skill that can help people communicate their needs, wants, and opinions clearly, respectfully, and honestly. By practicing assertiveness, self-esteem is strengthened, self-expression is encouraged, and more authentic and balanced interpersonal relationships are established. Assertiveness also helps avoid excessive complacency and dependence on external approval by promoting open and sincere communication with others.
5. Seek professional support
If the need for approval has become a significant problem that affects a person's daily life, it is advisable to seek professional support through a psychologist, therapist or counselor. These professionals can offer specific tools, techniques, and strategies to address emotional dependency and strengthen self-esteem. Through therapy, you can explore the underlying causes of your need for approval, work on developing emotional skills, and encourage greater self-care and self-love.
Conclusions
In In summary, the need for approval is a common psychological phenomenon that can have significant consequences on a person's self-esteem, interpersonal relationships, and emotional well-being. When dependence on external approval becomes a problem, it is essential to take steps to address this pattern of behavior and strengthen self-esteem and personal autonomy.
By cultivating self-acceptance, challenging limiting beliefs, setting boundaries healthy, practicing assertiveness, and seeking professional support, people can overcome the need for approval and develop greater self-confidence, authenticity, and emotional well-being in their lives.