Psychological abuse in a relationship is a form of emotional abuse that can be difficult to identify, since it does not leave visible physical marks but can be equally destructive and painful. Recognizing the signs that you are experiencing psychological abuse is the first step to seeking help and ending this situation. In this article, we present 40 questions that can indicate if you are suffering psychological abuse in your relationship.
What is psychological abuse in a relationship?
Before delving into the questions that can help you identify if you are being a victim of psychological abuse in your relationship, it is important to understand what this type of abuse consists of. Psychological abuse refers to any behavior or attitude of a person that aims to control, manipulate or humiliate their partner, undermining their self-esteem and emotional well-being. Unlike physical abuse, psychological abuse is more subtle and can be difficult to detect.
40 questions to identify psychological abuse as a couple
1. Does your partner humiliate or ridicule you in private or in public?
The act of humiliating or ridiculing your partner is a form of psychological abuse that seeks to undermine the other person's self-esteem.
2. Does it constantly make you feel insecure or afraid?
Constant fear and insecurity can be signs that you are the victim of abusive behavior from your partner.
3 . Does your partner constantly control you or prevent you from doing certain things?
Excessive control over your partner's life and decisions is a form of psychological abuse that seeks to limit your autonomy.
4. Does he constantly blame you for his own problems or bad behaviors?
The tendency to project responsibility for one's problems onto one's partner is a form of emotional abuse that can be very harmful.
5. Does your partner threaten to harm you or people close to you?
Threats of physical or emotional violence are a clear sign that you are in an abusive and dangerous relationship.
6. Does he isolate you from your friends, family or other support people?
Social isolation is a common tactic in psychological abuse that seeks to reduce the couple's contact with other people who can provide support.
7. Do you feel like you have to ask your partner's permission to do anything?
The need to ask permission to make everyday decisions is a sign that your partner exercises excessive control over you.
8. Does your partner constantly criticize you or make you feel inferior?
Constant criticism and devaluation are abusive behaviors that seek to undermine the partner's self-esteem.
9. Does it make you feel that no one else would love you or accept you the way your partner does?
Emotional manipulation that seeks to make the partner believe that they do not deserve anyone else is a form of psychological abuse.
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10. Does your partner ignore you or give you the silent treatment as punishment?
Lack of communication and the silent treatment as a form of punishment are abusive behaviors that can cause a lot of emotional suffering.
eleven. Does it make you feel like your opinions, desires, or feelings don't matter?
Invalidating your partner's feelings and needs is a form of emotional abuse that seeks to nullify their autonomy.
12. Does your partner insult you, shout, or verbally disqualify you?
Verbal aggression is a form of psychological abuse that seeks to emotionally harm the partner.
13. Does it make you feel responsible for your own emotions or reactions?
Emotional manipulation that seeks to make the partner responsible for the feelings and actions of the other is a form of psychological abuse.
14. Does your partner threaten to abandon you or hurt you if you don't do what he/she expects?
Threats of abandonment or violence are a form of emotional manipulation that seeks to control the partner.
15. Does it make you feel like you are constantly wrong or making mistakes?
Constant criticism and devaluation can make your partner feel insecure and lacking self-esteem.
16. Does your partner constantly demand proof of your love or fidelity?
Excessive mistrust and constant demands for proof of love can be a sign of abusive behavior in your partner.
17. Does he emotionally manipulate you to get what he wants from you?
Emotional manipulation is a form of abuse that seeks to control the partner through his emotions and feelings.
18. Does it make you feel like you're crazy or exaggerating when you express your concerns?
Invalidating your partner's feelings and perceptions is a form of abuse that seeks to delegitimize their emotions.
19. Does your partner ignore you or minimize your achievements and successes?
The lack of recognition and appreciation of your partner's achievements is a form of psychological abuse that seeks to undermine your partner's self-esteem and self-confidence.
20. Are you afraid to express your opinions or desires for fear of your partner's reaction?
Fear of expressing yourself freely for fear of your partner's reaction is a sign that the relationship may be abusive and toxic. .
21. Does your partner have extremely jealous or possessive behavior?
Excessive jealousy and possessive behavior can be signs of abusive behavior in the relationship.
22. Does it make you feel guilty or responsible for the problems in the relationship?
The tendency to blame the partner for conflicts and problems in the relationship is a form of emotional abuse that seeks to exempt oneself from responsibilities.
23. Does your partner threaten to reveal intimate or embarrassing information about you?
Threats to reveal secrets or intimate information as a form of control and manipulation are abusive behaviors that can be very harmful.
24. Does it make you feel that you are always indebted to him/her and that you must constantly compensate for his/her supposed sacrifices for you?
Emotional manipulation that seeks to generate a feeling of debt and obligation in the couple is a form of psychological abuse.
25. Does it control your access to your social networks, telephone or emails?
Excessive control over a partner's communication and privacy is a form of abuse that seeks to limit their autonomy and freedom.
26. Does your partner treat you as if you were inferior or less intelligent than him/her?
The condescending and contemptuous attitude towards the partner is a form of psychological abuse that seeks to undermine their self-esteem and self-confidence.
27. Does it make you feel like you don't deserve to be loved or respected?
Emotional manipulation that seeks to make your partner feel like they don't deserve love or respect is a very harmful form of emotional abuse.
28. Does he pressure you to have sexual relations or force you to perform sexual practices that you do not want?
Sexual pressure and unwanted sexual practices are forms of abuse that violate the intimacy and autonomy of the couple.
29. Do they blame you for their own emotional or mental health problems?
The tendency to attribute one's emotional or mental health problems to one's partner is a form of manipulation and psychological abuse.
30. Does he constantly compare you with other people to criticize or devalue you?
Constant comparison with other people as a form of criticism and devaluation is an abusive tactic that seeks to undermine the couple's self-esteem.
31. Does he threaten to take away your children or custody if you decide to leave the relationship?
Threats to take away your children or custody as a form of control and manipulation are abusive behaviors that can generate a lot of fear and insecurity in the relationship. couple.
32. Does your partner control your money or prevent you from making financial decisions?
Economic and financial control is a form of psychological abuse that seeks to limit the autonomy and independence of the couple.
33. Does it make you feel that you are always wrong and that he/she is right in everything?
The authoritarian attitude and the invalidation of the opinions and perceptions of the partner are forms of psychological abuse that seek to control and dominate.
34. Does it make you feel that you cannot live without him/her and that you would be unable to take care of yourself?
Emotional manipulation that seeks to generate dependence and a feeling of incapacity in the couple is a form of very harmful psychological abuse.
35. Does your partner call you derogatory nicknames or treat you with disrespect?
The use of derogatory nicknames and disrespectful treatment are forms of psychological abuse that seek to damage the partner's self-esteem and self-image.
36. Does he/she make you feel like you have to change aspects of your appearance or personality to be accepted by him/her?
Pressure to change aspects of your appearance or personality to please your partner is a form of abuse psychological that seeks to control and dominate.
37. Does your partner make you feel that you could never interest another person or find someone better?
Emotional manipulation that seeks to make the partner believe that they could not interest another person is a form of psychological abuse that seeks to generate dependency and fear of loneliness.
38. Do you constantly feel tense, anxious or depressed in the presence of your partner?
Constant emotional discomfort in the presence of your partner can be a sign that you are suffering psychological abuse in the relationship.
39. Does your partner threaten to harm himself/herself if you decide to leave the relationship?
Threats of self-harm as a form of control and manipulation are abusive behaviors that can generate a lot of fear and guilt in the partner.
40. Does it make you feel that everything bad that happens in the relationship is your responsibility and that you are the cause of the problems?
The tendency to blame your partner for all the problems and conflicts in the relationship is a form of psychological abuse that seeks to exempt oneself from responsibilities and generate insecurity in the couple.
Although these questions can serve as a guide to identify possible signs of psychological abuse in the couple, it is important to keep in mind that each person and each relationship is unique. If you identify with any of these signs, we recommend that you seek help from a mental health professional or a counselor specialized in gender violence to receive the necessary support and take measures to protect yourself and put an end to the abuse.