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Self-demand and criticism: why we are so hard on ourselves

It is common to make mistakes in life. We have all, at some point or another, made mistakes and had to face the consequences of our actions. What's intriguing, however, is how harshly we often treat ourselves when we make a mistake. Instead of showing compassion and self-pity, we tend to be critical, harsh, and even unforgiving toward ourselves. Why does this happen? Why are we so hard on ourselves when we make mistakes?

The critical inner voice

One of the main reasons behind our Being harsh on ourselves when we make mistakes is the critical inner voice we all have inside of us. This critical voice may have been formed by different experiences and factors, such as the education received, the social environment, external expectations, among others. When we make a mistake, this critical voice tends to surface and remind us of our failures in a forceful way, reinforcing feelings of shame, guilt and inferiority.

Self-demand and perfectionism

Another factor that contributes to our hardness with ourselves is self-demand and perfectionism. Many people have very high standards for themselves and put constant pressure on themselves to achieve perfection in everything they do. When they fail to meet their own expectations, they severely punish themselves internally, thus increasing self-criticism and self-pity.

Social comparison

The natural tendency to compare ourselves with others also plays a role. an important role in our reaction to errors. In a society where success and perfection are rewarded, it is easy to fall into the trap of comparing our failures to the seemingly impeccable achievements of others. This unfavorable comparison often fuels self-criticism and the feeling of not measuring up, which leads us to be even harder on ourselves when we stumble.

Impact on mental health

Excessive harshness on oneself in the face of mistakes can have a significant impact on mental and emotional health. Constant self-criticism and self-deprecation can trigger anxiety, depression, stress and other psychological problems. Furthermore, this negative attitude towards oneself can affect interpersonal relationships, self-esteem and self-confidence, generating a vicious circle of emotional self-destruction.

Self-compassion as an antidote

Although it may be difficult in At first, practicing self-compassion is essential to counteract harshness towards oneself. Self-compassion involves treating ourselves with kindness, acceptance, and understanding when we make mistakes, rather than berating and punishing ourselves. Research in psychology has shown that self-compassion is associated with lower levels of anxiety, depression and stress, and greater emotional resilience.

By practicing self-compassion, we learn to see our mistakes as opportunities for growth and learning, rather than as irreparable failures. Recognizing our humanity, accepting our imperfections and forgiving ourselves allows us to heal emotional wounds and strengthen our self-esteem. Self-compassion helps us cultivate a more compassionate and loving attitude toward ourselves, which in turn allows us to face challenges and setbacks with greater resilience and emotional balance.

Conclusions

Ultimately, being harsh on yourself when you make a mistake is a common phenomenon that can have profound implications for mental and emotional health. Identifying the underlying causes of this harshness and practicing self-compassion are crucial steps to overcoming excessive self-criticism and cultivating a healthier relationship with oneself.

Let's remember that making mistakes is an intrinsic part of the human condition and that no one it is perfect. Learning to treat ourselves with kindness and understanding in the face of our imperfections allows us to grow, learn and evolve as human beings. Self-compassion gives us the opportunity to transform self-criticism into self-compassion and to build a solid foundation for our emotional and psychological well-being.