Receiving criticism is an inevitable part of life. Whether in the work, social or personal sphere, it is common that at some point we find ourselves in the situation of being the object of criticism from others. However, knowing how to handle this criticism assertively can make a difference in how we feel and how we respond to it.
1. Active listening
One of the first steps to defend yourself against criticism assertively is to practice active listening. This involves paying attention to what the other person is saying, without interrupting and without getting carried away by our immediate emotions. Active listening allows us to understand the critic's point of view and gives us the opportunity to detect whether the criticism is constructive or simply a personal attack.
Tips for practicing active listening:
- Maintain eye contact with the person who is criticizing you to show interest and respect.
- Resist the temptation to think about your response while the other person speaks. Focus on what is being said at the moment.
- Ask questions to clarify any points you don't fully understand. This shows that you are committed to genuinely understanding the criticism.
- Shortly repeat what the other person has said to confirm that you have correctly understood their point of view.
Active listening not only allows you to understand criticism more deeply, but it also shows the other person that you value their opinion, which can change the dynamics of the interaction and open space for more constructive communication.
2. Breathe and control your emotions
It is natural that receiving criticism triggers emotions such as anger, sadness or shame. However, reacting impulsively to these emotions can make the situation worse and make it difficult to respond assertively. Instead of getting carried away with your first emotional reactions, take a moment to breathe deeply and control your emotions before responding.
Some strategies to control your emotions:
- Practice Conscious breathing: Take a few seconds to breathe slowly and deeply, focusing on the sensation of the breath entering and leaving your body. This will help you calm down and regain control of your emotions.
- Stop the impulsive reaction: If you feel like you are about to respond aggressively or defensively, take a moment to count to ten before speaking. This short period of time can give you the opportunity to reconsider your response and choose a more assertive way of communicating.
- Identify your emotions: Recognizing what you are feeling in the moment allows you to be aware of your emotional reactions and address them in a more rational way. Ask yourself what emotion you are experiencing and why, before taking any action.
When you manage to control your emotions, you can approach criticism more objectively and constructively, allowing yourself to respond in a more objective manner. assertive instead of reactive.
3. Respond assertively
Once you have actively listened to criticism and controlled your emotions, it is time to respond assertively. Assertiveness involves expressing your thoughts and feelings in a clear, respectful and firm way, defending your rights and establishing limits appropriately.
Keys to an assertive response:
- Express your thanks: Thank the person for sharing their opinion with you, regardless of whether or not you agree with the criticism. Showing gratitude demonstrates openness and emotional maturity.
- Express your point of view: Share your thoughts and feelings honestly and directly, without attacking the other person. Use non-accusatory language and focus on your personal experience.
- Set boundaries: If the criticism is unfair or crossing your personal boundaries, be firm in communicating your boundaries respectfully. You can say something like "I understand your point of view, but I feel uncomfortable with this type of comment. I would prefer that we talk about this in a more constructive way".
- Propose a solution: If the criticism is Constructively, consider the other person's suggestions and propose possible solutions or changes that could improve the situation. This demonstrates a willingness for personal growth and improvement.
Responding assertively not only helps you defend your rights and maintain your self-esteem, but also encourages more honest and open communication with others. others. Practicing assertiveness in critical situations allows you to establish healthier relationships and build a stronger and more secure self-image.
In conclusion, defending yourself against criticism assertively requires active listening skills, emotional control, and an assertive response. By practicing these techniques, you can transform the way you perceive criticism and how you relate to others in challenging situations. Remember that criticism, if handled appropriately, can be opportunities for learning and personal growth.