Typical thoughts of self-deception in emotional dependence.

1. \"I need this person to be happy\"

One of the most common thoughts in emotional dependence is the belief that one person needs another to be happy. This idea leads to a deep belief that happiness depends exclusively on the presence and behavior of the other person, which can generate an intense fear of losing them and, consequently, developing control and submission behaviors.

Psychological impact:

This belief can lead to a significant loss of autonomy and self-esteem in the dependent person. By focusing all your happiness on the other person, you run the risk of neglecting your own emotional well-being and losing the ability to be happy independently.

2. \"I can only be loved by this person\"

Another characteristic thought of self-deception in emotional dependence is the idea that you can only be loved or valued by a particular person. This can lead the dependent person to tolerate harmful or abusive behavior, believing that they do not deserve anyone else's attention or love.

Psychological impact:

This limiting belief can lead to a deep insecurity in the dependent person, as well as difficulties in establishing healthy limits in their relationships. By believing that only one person has the capacity to love them, the dependent person can stay in toxic and harmful relationships.

3. \"If the person really loved me, they would change their behavior\"

In emotional dependency, it is common for the person to justify the other person's negative behavior with the belief that if they really loved them, would change the way he acts. This idea can lead the dependent person to accept abusive or manipulative behavior, instead of setting clear limits and defending their emotional well-being.

Psychological impact:

This belief can fuel a cycle of hope and disappointment in the dependent person, keeping them trapped in an unhealthy relationship. By attributing the change to the other person instead of taking responsibility for their own well-being, the dependent person exposes themselves to continued emotional suffering.

4. \"My needs are not important, what matters is the other person\"

In emotional dependence, the person tends to put the needs and desires of the other person above their own, sacrificing their own autonomy and emotional well-being in the process. This way of thinking reflects a deep imbalance in the relationship, where the dependent person constantly subordinates himself to the other person.

Psychological impact:

This belief can lead to a significant deterioration of the self-esteem and identity of the dependent person. By denying their own needs and desires, the person neglects themselves, generating a feeling of inner emptiness and a feeling of loss of control over their own life.

5. \"If I walk away from this person, I will be unable to get over it\"

The fear of abandonment is one of the most prominent characteristics in emotional dependence, which leads the person to believe that if they walk away of the other person, you will not be able to overcome the situation and will experience deep emotional suffering. This belief can lead to behaviors of conflict avoidance and tolerance of harmful situations.

Psychological impact:

This thought can keep the dependent person in a state of constant anxiety, preventing them from make healthy decisions for your emotional well-being. By fearing the loss of the other person, the dependent person can become trapped in a cycle of emotional suffering and emotional dependence.

6. \"I can't be happy if I'm not in a relationship\"

The belief that happiness is only possible within a loving relationship is another typical thought of self-deception in emotional dependence. This idea reflects a deep dependence on the other person to experience positive emotions, which can lead the person to stay in unsatisfying or unhealthy relationships.

Psychological impact:

This belief It can generate an intense fear of loneliness and emotional independence, which makes it difficult to develop one's own identity and establish healthy relationships. By associating happiness exclusively with a romantic relationship, the dependent person limits himself in his search for emotional well-being.

7. \"The other person needs me as much as I need them\"

The belief of emotional symmetry is another form of self-deception common in emotional dependence, where the person tends to believe that the other party needs in the same way their affection and attention. This idea can lead the person to overvalue the importance of their role in the other person's life, ignoring their own needs and limits.

Psychological impact:

This belief can generate frustration and resentment in the dependent person, not seeing their level of dedication and affection reciprocated by the other person. By maintaining a distorted view of the relationship, the dependent person can suffer constant disappointment and experience a deep feeling of dissatisfaction.

In conclusion, the typical thoughts of self-deception in emotional dependence reflect a series of cognitive distortions and emotions that can have a significant impact on a person's mental and emotional health. Recognizing and questioning these thoughts is essential to start a process of change and promote healthier and more balanced relationships.